Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm!

hej all and sundry. The last 24 hours has been a day of firsts. ‘Twas quite exciting really. For a start, I am in our apartment. I haven’t been here since the 5th of May. It’s quite exciting. I’m listening to Roy and H.G. for the first time in 3 weeks. I had my first beer in 2 weeks last night (and loved it) and just 2 hours ago I had my first shower in 16 days. Why, they do cry, has he been so uncivilised for such an extended period. Well the answer is simple really. On the 5th of may, at 8:10am, I locked up both wheels of the motorcycle, left 6 metres of rubber on the ground, smacked into the back of a tray top ute and tried wearing my tibia and fibula on the outside of my leg for a change. I was confined to the bed for 10 days while the very expensive pins that now hold my leg together set themselves in place. Ten days of shitting in a pot, pissing in a bottle and creating enormous bedsores on my tailbone was just enough. Thank god for Parky being there to clean me and wash me and empty my pan. The bloody nurses were useless. Don’t get me wrong, the Corean medical system is bloody good. It’s not Tajikistan. The doctors are well trained, the operation was a success, everything is very modern but the bloody nurses couldn’t stop giggling every time they looked at me. They would come into the room anywhere between 2 and 6 at a time (never alone) and just stare. One day, about 5 days into my stay, six nurses came in and one of them talked to me, 5 stared. The talking nurse was struggling for conversation because she obviously had no purpose being there other than to create a diversion while the other 5 stared (this is bloody true, 6 at a time for no reason at all). During one of the periods of prolonged silence I enquired (in English) “Why are there 6 nurses in the room?” They must have understood the word 6, and 5 of them fled leaving the talky one feeling decidedly lonely and she also fled after a break of about 4 seconds (longer than it sounds). Later that day, and may I remind you that this is nearly a week into my stay, two nurses came in and just stood there, 3 feet away from the bed and ogled. I thought this is something unusual, they usually pretend to have a reason, these girls are just staring and making no pretence at having business in my room, just going the ogle. I thought I might just see how long they look if I don’t say anything.
So I just stared at them in return. They didn’t care. I think they didn’t even notice. Just freakin’ staring at me. This went on for about 2 minutes (again, longer than it sounds. Much, much longer). This ended abruptly when I just couldn’t take it anymore and said “Hello”. You should have seen the looks on their faces, sheer horror. I think it had gone on for so long that they had forgotten that I was awake or even alive. They picked up their skirts and ran flat knacker, straight out the door, slamming it behind them and I never saw them again for the duration of my stay. This repeated itself over and over. The point I’m trying to make is, if this is the reaction I get just from lying fully covered in bed, imagine if they had to wipe my arse. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Anyway, after 10 days and bedsores the size of Tasmania, I transferred hospitals. I was in a wheelchair within an hour of being there and it looks like I will be out of hospital before the first one was going to let me out of bed. I’m happy. Healing is good. Life is good. Bike is good. Everything is good.