Sexiness On Wheels, Gangwon Style!

Hidey-Ho neighbours. I am a new man. I’ve received a package of music from Pookey and Mal, wolfmother, system of a down, go team, tv on the radio and so much more. I am now the happiest little camper this side of Mount Baek-du. It’s a pretty desolate musical landscape here in Corea unless you are into bubble gum pop, “rock ballads”, or some other utter, utter drivel. If such unadulterated rubbish were in fact your cup of green tea, you would be in your element, you gormless wanker!

This is me listening to Corean poop music and trying to hide my genuine feelings of hatred and loathing. Personally I think I'm doing a pretty good job!

I’m not a fan of Corean pop to be honest. It’s sung by people around the age of ‘Hanson’, with M.C. Hammer type catchy-ness and stage gymnastics, add the cutesy-ness of “ice cream kids” dolls and the sweetness of honey covered cotton candy on fairy bread, with all of the sincerity of “Milli Vanilli”. You’re getting there now, and it’s all the goddamned same, the whole pestilential lot of it! Of course you must add the ubiquitous English phrase “Come on everybody!” or “Throw your hand up!” or “Wabe your hand in the air rike you just don’t care!” between verses. (Plurals are not super common here in Corea. And amongst many other idiosyncrasies of the Corean language, you cannot end words with “S” nor can you start a word with the letter “L”, even though you can both start a word with “S” and finish it with the letter “L”. The letter “V” doesn’t exist full stop.) I’m glad I’m writing this down, because without being able to re-read it I’m quite sure I wouldn’t know what I had started on about.
Now I have read again from the top I realise I wasn’t far off track, I was talking about music and how much I am enjoying the new cds in my possession. Whilst listening to them today I have also discovered many wondrous things. Roy and hg are back on the radio, I have changed my blog site language from Corean back into English (something I have been struggling with ever since I started this thing) and I have figured out how to post videos on the blog site. The grand total of the videos I have taken though is actually 1, Parky has taken 2, and none of them were intended for public display or even seriously considered before shooting. The 2 that Parky has taken were both taken before I realised that she knew how to take video (with our super new digital camera. Cheers mum and dad!!) and I am the focus of them, being totally unaware that they were taken. I must admit to wondering why she was pointing the camera at me and not taking photos, but being married to someone who is prone to doing fairly random things, I never gave it much thought. I am sure Parky knows how I feel, she is also married to such a person, the videos are testament to that. The two guys in my video are also completely unaware that they are being filmed.

That said, I am going to post them anyway just to prove that I can. I do however solemnly promise from here on in to put much more forethought into the making of the videos before I make and/or post them.


What I was originally intending to write about was our tour we did yesterday. It is my last week in Gangneung and Parky’s second last and we decided to hire a Kia Carnival and take a tour up in the mountains with a few mates. First a few notes on Kia Carnivals (or should that be Kias Carnival).
1) They are quite nice to drive.
2) It is said that they seat 9, and they do. If of course you don’t come equipped with an oriental sized bottom, they seat only 6 really comfortably. But the ride and the seats themselves are very comfortable.
3) The (auto) gearbox is made by Kia and is therefore by definition crap.
4) For those of you who have driven or even been in dad’s boat will get a distinct feeling of déjà vu when you are turning a Kia Carnival at full lock.
5) It’s fuel consumption (diesel) is quite excellent, and it’s power (although they would never make a race car) isn’t super terrible at all.
6) You will never pull chicks in a Kia Carnival. Single mums, maybe. Chicks, no.

7) When driving a Kia Carnival (or any other form of transport at all) with Phillip and Dave, don’t leave the beers near Philip. First he will drink the half of them, then he will cede ‘Power Of The Beer’ to a higher authority. That will usually result in Dave creating some kind of commotion that invariably prolongs each and every rest (read: piss) stop.
8) Whenever hiring a Kia Carnival (or any other form of transport at all) for a road trip, always do your utmost to make sure that both Phillip and Dave are amidships. This is the best insurance you could ever make toward never forgetting your road trip.

The drive was a gas. We started out with no idea where we were going. 30 minutes into the trip we attempted a frozen, snow covered hill climb, we got about 500 yards up the barstard before having to reverse down it. It was going to be about 15 kilometres up before we went down again. 500 yards was a bit pathetic I must admit, but I reversed the first 20 or so yards in ‘D for drive’ and about 2 yards every time I put the brakes on, giving you an idea of the gradient of the slope and the condition of the road (about 4cm of solid ice, no snow). Much later we discovered snow chains in the back and that the tyres were as bald as a fireman’s helmet but we didn’t mind, for had we made it up the slope the “Road Sign Inspector’s Tour Of Gangwondo” would never have taken place.





We took an alternative route through Im Gae, a piss ant village most fondly remembered for being host to not only the toothless hobo that asked me for and was given a cigarette, but also the copper that grabbed him by the neck, spun him around kicked him full pelt, right up the arse and reminded him that he had previously been asked not to bother the weiguks, and sent merrily on his way. (Although I can’t, for the life of me work out which, if any, weiguks had ever been to Im Gae or why)

We ended up in Jongseon and had a lavish feast of goat, chicken, ginseng and dog. It was lovely. The drive was beautiful. The lakes and reservoirs were frozen over, the mountains were covered in snow and the beers were frosty cold. I will post photies but the feeling of driving around the Gangwon mountain ranges in winter cannot be captured on film, it must simply be done, and done in a rental with 6 of your best mates.